I remember the friendship drama that cam along with middle and high school. I was just as dramatic or even more than the next typical girl. I chose friends who were in my classes, on my social level, and interested in things that I was interested in. Along with that came petty fights over boys, talking about one another behind backs, and mother's warnings to stay away from certain girls. I seriously thought all of that was over as I graduated from high school. What a joke......although friendships are different now, they are still difficult, but oh so important. Adult women need friends as badly as little girls. We thrive on our friendships. Friends can help you with marital and mothering advice. They can help you out when you are in a bind. They can understand your sometimes (lol) insensitive husband and bratty kids. A bottle of wine and an hour of their company can keep you going for a week. They laugh with you, cry with you, and support you. Friends are a lifeboat for me in this sea of chaos that I call life.
But I have found that the drama doesn't leave when you receive your high school diploma, the moody teenagers are still alive within. Unfortunately, friendships in the adult world can be just as complicated as they were back then. I struggle with this because I don't think they should be, but I care to much about my pals to just let go.
I am still friends today with people that I met in preschool and kindergarten. Our friendship has taken on different looks over the years, but it is dependable, open, and consistent. These are the friends that I don't have to talk to on a daily or even weekly basis, but we can still pick up like it was yesterday. There are people that I have talked to on an hourly basis for years that I have no contact with anymore due to location and job changes. Those are sad, but a part of life.
I guess we still have some of the same criteria for picking friends.....location: some of my best friends are my neighbors.....it's convienent and they are around all of the time. I don't think that I pick pals based on any "social level" anymore, but am often friends with my kids' friends....and we already discussed how they pick theirs.
My biggest surprise and frustration with friends are how quickly adults are to write you off as a friend after one issue. I know I have been guilty of this myself, but often wonder why we don't have the forgiving power of children. We hold grudges and base our outlook of others based on one isolated event. We even sometimes let others' opinions affect ours.
I have lost friends over the years do to distance, differing values, not being at the same stages in life, silly incidents, miscommunication, and unforgiveness. These losses make me sad, but are the scars of growth....some necessary, some not. However, I am so thankful for those who are my lifelong pals, the friends who I have lost touch with along the way, and the ones that presently support and encourage me daily. Sometimes we just need to step back and show gratitude to those who we truly call friends. Where would we be without them?
